Hello - it's been a while! But Weekly Wharmby is back in your inboxes and will be for the forseeable. Some quick housekeeping:

After thinking what exactly I'd want to see in an email like this, I've changed the format slightly - I want these emails to be quick and straight to the point. Straight in, here's some cool stuff I've read and seen this week, something to think about, maybe a nice photo.

It also means there's less friction in writing these emails, short and sweet - I love sharing what I've learned and experienced and focusing more on 1 or 2 things works better for everyone.

Shall we?

🤔 You don't ask, you don't get

Ben Aldridge writes in How to Control the Uncontrollable (great book by the way) that learning to be uncomfortable helps us build resilience - a key skill for life. Uncomfortable meaning going for a run in the rain, bringing up a difficult conversation or asking why you were overlooked for a payrise (again). The avoidance of being uncomfortable leaves life left unlived.

These examples cover both physical and emotional discomfort, and it's the emotional discomfort I'm more interested in.

Alridge writes about how the Stoics practiced 'shame-attacking' - intentionally doing things that were embarrassing in order to overcome the feeling. James Smith shares a good example of this on the Diary of a CEO podcast:

In order to develop confidence, James decided to ask for 10% off his next coffee. The very thought of it made him anxious and he dreaded it right up to the point he got to the front of the queue. But, he got there, asked for the discount, they said no, and away he went - elated! It was a success - he'd mustered up the courage to make himself uncomfortable and ask for something he wouldn't have otherwise got. You can see how this ladders up to bigger and better things:

• Free seat upgrades on long haul flights

• Getting bumped up to the premier suite at a luxury hotel

• Nabbing a discount on your latest purchase

We all know people who manage this all the time.

So it's simple - get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Learn to be uncomfortable, build resilience, and practise the following mantra: You don't ask, you don't get.

🌍 Something to take away

An interesting thread on how parents and caregivers use (and shouldn't use) fear as a parenting/teaching method:

https://twitter.com/naomicfisher/status/1581056170709508097?s=20&t=cyI2Zl-AWznMKtDqkYAUXA

📖 Here's what I'm reading at the moment

I just finished How the World Really Works: A Scientist’s Guide to Our Past, Present and Future which covers how energy, food and materials are harvested and used as well as much more. It's great.

Next up I'm going to read Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? I'm also thinking of rereading the Game of Thrones series before Winds of Winter comes out (if it ever does)!

A pleasure as always - see you next week. Pass on this email if you enjoyed it!

Cheers 🤙🏻