23 | 👍🏼 Assume the best

Hi,

I'm a rubbish judge of character. That is, I assume things about how people are that never transpire to be accurate.

I try to work on it and to keep an open mind, but there's always room for improvement.

We humans have a bias towards negativity, and all too often this can result in assuming the worst.

From an evolutionary perspective: it's better to be safe, than to be sorry.

But, as ever, this email is my way of thinking out loud about things I've read and watched - all with the aim to be a better person. So here’s what I’ve learned.

Human kind

I just finished Human kind by Rutger Bregnan - a great book that gives us a much more hopeful perspective on the innate kindness of humans.

We humans tend to assume the worst in each other, based off a chequered past of world wars, dictatorships and mass genocide. That humans are naturally bad, and that we'll always revert to type.

Studying psychology at college, I learned about various experiments displaying the worst in humanity, Zimbardo's Stanford prison experiment being the most notorious of the lot.

In the 70s, psychologist Philip Zimbardo took 18 student volunteers and divided them into 'guards' and 'prisoners'. The experiment was stopped after six days due to the brutality of the guards towards the prisoners.

But, it's clear we weren't told the whole story. After reviewing the notes, it was revealed that the 'guards' were actually coached in their cruelty to the prisoners, rather than it coming naturally.

And so the book itself is a reminder, and proof, that we are inherently good people, and that a lot of historical evidence for the contrary actually has more than one side to the story.

At the end of the book, Bregnan writes:

Here's my favourite 3.

1. Always try to assume the best. If you don't trust people, how will you ever find out if they're worth trusting? Give the benefit of the doubt - usually people have good intentions. If they don't, then your reaction is important as that may bring the positive change you're looking for.

2. Look for win win situations. Even if you do a kind act only to feel good (typically seen as a 'selfish' kind act), both parties still win. The best deals are where everybody wins.

3. Ask more questions - clarify, check that your assumptions are correct in the first place. For the most part, they probably aren't.

You can find Human kind here, and info on Zimbardo's Stanford prisoner experiment here.

Cheers! If you found this interesting and useful, feel free to subscribe.

I send emails like this every Tuesday. Sometimes even Monday if I’ve got my life together.

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This Week’s Recommendation 🔝

T-shirt 👕 - I’m a big fan of white t shirts and I’ve been on the look out for the perfect version. For a while I’ve sung the praises of Uniqlo’s Supima cotton crew neck, but I’ve found that I’ve gone off the fit of them recently - I don’t like how the sleeves stick out.

Behold: the Abercrombie and Fitch Essential Relaxed Crew Tee - super soft, fits perfectly, and I like how the seam sits just over the side of the shoulder, rather than on top of it, meaning that the sleeve runs down your arm rather than sticking out.

This Week I’m: ⬇️

• Reading 📚 - The Almanack of Naval Ravikant - Eric Jorgenson

• Listening to 🎧 - Mirrors - DJ Seinfeld - so many great albums out at the moment (Drake, Django Django)

• Visiting 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 - Currently in Wales

• Planning 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇩🇪 - A trip to Bristol and a trip to Germany

• Looking forward to 🤔 - Not having 2 broken toes

This Week’s Quote 💬

Until next week, find me on Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, and have a look at what I’m reading on Goodreads. Ciao!