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- 02 | 📸 I deleted instagram
02 | 📸 I deleted instagram
Ahoy!
Firstly, thanks for joining. In this weekly email I am looking at how to be happier and get more out of life. Hopefully if you're reading this, you'll be able to learn something with me! If you enjoy reading this, feel free to subscribe to get my emails weekly.
Last week I wrote about why I should worry less about what (I think) others think about me. We all do it, but reminding ourselves that nobody really cares is a good place to start. I think it's a great exercise to think out loud about this stuff.
By worrying about what other people think, our self-worth is then determined by others. This is problematic because self-worth should develop from one's own self identity and confidence. What others think of us shouldn't frame our self-worth.
Last week, I deleted the Instagram app from my phone. It's not the first time I've done it, and it won't be the last. The app has its benefits - notably @notorious_p.i.e's daily pizza posts - but I'm not entirely sure my relationship with it is net positive.
There's two reasons for this.
First - it's a massive time drain. Insta is designed to keep you on there as long as possible, and it definitely achieves it.
I want to focus on the second issue, though. Comparison. I've come to realise that I could be anywhere in the world, happy as Larry, but a quick scroll through Instagram would always bring me back down to Earth. Friends at a BBQ, a cousin at a restaurant, a festival I missed out on tickets for. I could be on a beach on the Moon, yet still be hit with a pang of jealousy from a half drunk (drunk? drank?) £6 pint, posted by someone I haven't seen in 5 years. Why don't I have that? Why don't I get invited to these events? How do I always miss out on them?
"Comparison is the thief of joy"
Instagram is great for catching up on what others are up to. But it's not so great when you compare what they have, to what you have. I'd love to say that I'm happy with my lot and that's the end of that. I am happy with what I have. But I still notice a twinge of jealousy rising up, as I have a quick scroll whilst waiting for the tube. I’m on the way to have a great evening somewhere, and yet here I am comparing my life.
The above quote is attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, but I first came across it listening to the Joe Rogan Podcast w/ Elon Musk (#1169). Now the richest man in the world, Elon Musk said:
I think [social media] can make people quite sad just by comparison because you're sort of... People generally think of themselves relative to others. It's like we are constantly re-baselining our expectations.
Now, good old Elon isn't a prominent figure when it comes to mental health and social media use. He is, though, the richest man in the world. He has access to anything he will ever want, and is successful and fulfilled in his everyday life. Yet Rogan mentions in the podcast how Musk deleted Instagram as it made him feel better. Musk says:
If you look at everyone on Instagram, you might think, "Man, there are all these happy beautiful people, and I'm not that good looking, and I am not happy. So, I must suck," you know. And that's going to make you feel sad; when, in fact, those people you think are super happy, actually, not that happy. [...] And nobody looks good all the time. It doesn't matter who you are.
If the richest man in the world thinks that Instagram makes him unhappy from time to time, then I'm sure I'm not the other one.
It's absolutely true that people post the highlights of their life - that's exactly how I use Instagram. On the one hand, it's a great thing to look back on, and it's great to share in the experiences of others. On the other hand, your Instagram feed sets the bar for what your life could and should look like. And I've found this difficult.
The key is to mindfully use the app. Not everyone will find themselves comparing their lives to others. But for me, when it happens, the main thing is to remind myself that what I'm seeing is a snapshot of the best moments of someone’s life.
I’ll redownload it at some point. But for now, it’s nice to have a break.
Thanks! 😎
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If what what you produce can help or entertain at least one person online, it's worth sharing. If that’s you - consider sharing this with a friend 🤝
This week I learned 🤔
My pension provider at work has changed so it made me do a bit of reading up. Apparently, whatever age you start saving, you should save half of your age as a % of your salary. I'm 26 in May, so I'd save 13% (this remains the same forever). This is made up of mine and my employer's contribution. The idea is that the sooner you do it, the less you need to contribute due to compound gains n all that.
Also, if you aren't saving - it's never too late to start. I'd recommend this book to get started (Money - Laura Whateley)
Recommendation 🔝
Tweet thread 🐦 - Here's something you didn't know you wanted to know. Taylor Swift has just released a new recording of her first album, Fearless. @thatsmauvelous’s excellent thread goes through why - and touches on intellectual property law, ownership rights and dodgy music industry figures. It's brilliant.
This Week I’m: ⬇️
Reading 📚 - Happy by Derren Brown
Listening to 🎧 - Fred Again - Actual Life (April 14 - December 17 2020). Been waiting for this album since last April! And it's a beauty.
Learning 🤔 - How to use Final Cut Pro X for video editing
Planning 🗺 - A trip to the South Downs for a weekend with Mills
Working on 🐶 - Training Benji to bring the ball back (seems to have forgotten...)
Thinking about 💭 - Life when we go back to the office 🤨
One quote 💬
Share what you love, and the people who love the same things will find you - Austin Kleon
There we have it!
Looking forward to catching up next week. Give me a shout if you want to share any thoughts (you can just reply to this email).