014 | 📉 Overcoming 'The Dip'

Yo team,

I'm writing this on Saturday as tomorrow I'll be fully focused on it Coming Home!

But, before we get into it, I had a fair few comments/replies to my last email about My love/hate relationship with alcohol, which you can read here. It seems like a lot of people do have similar feelings about overdoing it. Good to know I'm not the only one!

As always, the point of this email is to think out loud about how to enjoy life more and get the most out of it. Hopefully, by talking about my experiences and things I've read and learned, I can help others too. If that's you, don't forget to subscribe - I send this email every Sunday 👍🏼

My first (and last) football training session

When I was around 13, I showed up to a training session at a local under-16s football club. I went with a friend, let's say Kyle, who was fairly decent, and hadn't been before either.

At the end of the session, Kyle was asked by the coach to sign for the club, there and then, while I stood holding his things for him.

I went along with Kyle that evening just to try it out - I was desperate to be good at football like him, having always been rubbish myself.

I figured I'd just keep rocking up to training, and eventually, I'd get better. Eventually, maybe I'd even play for the team.

Alas, it was my first and last training session.

The excitement of getting better, potentially becoming good at football, drove me there. But, the session was way harder than I expected - I barely touched the ball - and Kyle signing for the club after that one session reminded me how far away I was from being good.

So - I gave up. I never went to a football training session again. I walked home on a dark, rainy Tuesday night with my hands in my pockets and my head down.

I love football. I bloody love it. Playing as much as watching. But, I've never been great, which does my head in. I used to have kickabouts every now and again through my teens. But, I only started playing football consistently about 18 months ago with my mates and our weekly 5 aside league.

A 13 year old bad decision

I see that moment as a 13 year old lad as a fork in the road. I had a choice to go back the following week, and the week after, and the week after that. It's a safe bet that I'd have been better than I am now. But instead, I stayed away. And now, here I am, lamenting a choice I made 13 years ago.

Before that training session, I knew I liked football. The effort and reward were about the same, despite being rubbish. When this training session came along and I was the worst player there however, the effort far outweighed the fun, rewarding element.

Looking at the graph below, that training session was right at the top of the first peak. The training session itself was the Dip - as coined by Seth Godin. The point at which the effort didn't match the reward - it was hard and unenjoyable.

I hit the Dip, and I quit. Had I have carried on going, it might have got worse, but over time I'd have eventually improved, started to enjoy myself, and be able to reap the benefits as a 26 year old.

The Dip awaits

Starting new things is exciting. Learning a new skill, trying out a new sport, that sort of thing. You get the initial jump from 0/10 - not having a clue - to 1/10 straight away.

1/10 is being bad at this new thing, but at least you have some sort a clue where you're going - e.g. learning the anatomy of a guitar.

With low expectation, 1/10 is a good position to be in, because you can't really lose. You know you're rubbish. And that's fine - you just started. The novelty is fresh, and your reason for starting sticks with you.

You can pretty quickly go from 1/10 to 2/10, maybe even 3/10 with some consistency. Progress comes fairly easily, and the overall process is rewarding. You know how to play a few chords, you can play twinkle twinkle little star, you're enjoying yourself. Progress = satisfaction.

But, let's face it: you didn't pick up a guitar to play nursery rhymes. You want to get better, and you want to do so quickly.

It gets harder. Going from 3/10 to 4/10 gets harder, 4/10 to 5/10 harder still. The amount of reward - satisfaction, learning, enjoyment - reduces, while the amount of effort remains the same.

Welcome to The Dip.

Seth Godin talks about The Dip in said book:

An old teacher once said in a school assembly I was in, 'When the going gets tough, the tough get going'. It's a bit of a cliche but it has its value. When it gets hard, you're on your way to progress and reward.

And maybe, if you stick at it long enough - mastery.

Thanks! 😎

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How am I 1% better this week? 📈

After thinking about my relationship and the downsides of alcohol last week, I didn't drink at a games night I went to this week. It sounds easy, but when you're surrounded by other people doing the exact thing you're trying to avoid, it's quite hard.

This Week’s Recommendation 🔝

Book 📚 - The Millionaire Fastlane - MJ DeMarco

It's almost impossible to get rich by selling your time (~8h per day) for money (salary). The end.

This Week I’m: ⬇️

• Reading 📚 - Klara and the Sun - Kazuo Ishiguro

• Listening to 🎧 - My ATB playlist on Spotify. It's my All Time Best tunes, so when a new one is added, it's a pretty big event. The last one I added was Before I Fall to Pieces by Razorlight on 29th March - class tune

• Learning 🤔 - How to make time

• Working on 📝 - Lots of video related stuff - but not finding enough time to make progress

• Looking forward to 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 - It COMING HOME

• Thinking about ⌚️ - Is an Apple Watch a good purchase?

This Week’s Quote 💬

There we have it!

Looking forward to catching up next week.

In the meantime, find me on Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, and have a look at what I’m reading on Goodreads. Ciao!