01 | 👏🏼 Nobody cares

The first day of many in writing this email, where I look at the main blockers to sharing my writing online.

Author

Jake Wharmby
April 08, 2021

Ahoy!

If you’re reading this in your inbox then you’re reading my first weekly email post. Welcome!

One of my main aims with this weekly post is to figure out how to be a better person and enjoy life as much as possible.

My biggest obstacle in life is, probably, the fear of being judged. It makes me second-guess my choices, holds me back from certain decisions, and prevents me from fully enjoying life. I’m sure I won’t be the only one! Today I’m going to look at why this might be the case.

It’s not fashionable to worry about being judged. Firstly, who says people are paying attention to me anyway? And ultimately, why do I care?

Who says people are paying attention to me anyway?

It’s a good question (thanks Jake), and a great time to introduce The Spotlight Effect.

 The Spotlight Effect is the phenomenon in which people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are.

On one hand, believing I’m on the mind of others more than I actually am, is pretty self-centred.

The thing is - people have got their own lives to worry about. Life is far too quick and fractured to concern ourselves with what everyone else is up to. And ultimately, if there are people with a negative (read: not constructive) response to what I wear/what I say/what I think/what I write - they’re not worth listening to anyway.

When it comes to sharing work online, Austin Kleon has some useful advice, reminding us that it’s okay to be:

A regular person who gets obsessed by something and spends a ton of time thinking out loud about it.

Self-identity

On the other hand, it also probably shows my identity is tied up in how I think that others perceive me. How does that work? I think it means that I over-value feedback from others, usually assumed rather than given, to justify a choice. Instead, the confidence behind a choice should come from within. This translates to a weak sense of self-identity.

In my mind, this is more complex than simply reminding myself that everyone is too busy living their own life to pay too much attention to me/others. Self-identity is something I’m currently learning about, and I’ll share some thoughts on it at a later date.

Remembering that nobody really gives a s*** is a great way to live a bit more freely. 😁

Thanks! 😎

If you’re new here - thanks for joining ✌🏻

I think you should share things online if it can help or entertain at least one other person. If that’s you - consider sharing this with a friend 🤝

What have I learned this week? 🤔

The QWERTY keyboard was created in the 19th century to slow down the typing speed of typewriter users to avoid jams!

It turns out the ‘Dvorak’ keyboard layout is up to 60% faster - imagine how much time that could save when writing thank you emails? 📧

This Week’s Recommendation 🔝

I’m not a massive TV watcher but when I do watch, it’s always for something brilliant. If you’ve not watched BBC’s Line of Duty yet, you know what to do. Super fast paced and every season has been as good as the last!

This Week I’m: ⬇️

This Week’s Quote 💬

 You will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realise how seldom they do.’. - David Foster Wallace 

There we have it!

Looking forward to catching up next week.

In the meantime, find me on Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, and have a look at what I’m reading on Goodreads. Ciao!

Hit me up if you have anything to share.